A Fine Book for the Funnybone and the John

My old shtick buddy Steve Shufton (we amused each other in 7th grade with merciless impersonations of our science teacher, Mr Berkholz; he had a very soft-spoken Bob Newhart thing going on that you could render with a few down-talking lowerings of one’s chin…) has published a collection of humorous essays, All the Answers. One could do a lot worse with $10 than purchase this 500-page juggernaut, an encyclopedia of wit which manages to fully explain hundreds of historical and everyday topics in a consistently wry comic tone that never stoops to obscenities or hand gestures to punch its satirical points. The book even had this reader – a coarsened shtickeratti and comedian manqué who never laughs at anything unless someone is suddenly and accidentally injured– actually LOL.

For example, on matters celestial:

In the 1920's, a scientist named Hubble first noticed the universe expanding. Rather than keeping this news to himself, he decided to go about telling everyone. He noticed that as he told more people, they began to move rapidly away from him adding still more credence to his otherwise useless discovery.


Newton was a very peculiar man who always seemed to have inexplicable bits of apple in his hair. He was quite fond of dropping things, and would often drop something and exclaim 'Look!" One day, after dropping a sixteen-pound cannon ball out the window, the ball was seen cascading through the awning and table of the produce stand several floors below, causing hysteria in the streets. The cannon destroyed the many fruits on display and several of the pastries being sold by the same vendor. Several figs, as a result, were wedged into the pastry. As with everything else, Newton at once claimed credit for what he supposed was a "new invention" and the rest, of course, is history.

Knetz Comics is happy to award its highest honor, the “The Golden Nibblet”, to All the Answers, We heartily recommend you get it now and put it in your favorite john. Depending on the amount of fiber in your diet, you’ll get hours of merriment from this book. Why, I’ve been up there for months. (Your mileage may vary.)

Posted: Thu - March 17, 2005 at 08:14 PM         |